White Milk Only.

Remember the days that those queers would suffer their abuse in stoic silence? How they stayed in the closet where they belonged and not on your T.V.? And when they did come out, they performed their dainty little musical numbers and swished around all fru-fru for you like a queer step-n-fetchit?

Remember how women would wear pearls to do the house cleaning, and had dinner ready for you when you got home? The good old days when they were content to be secretaries until they finally married and settled down to be home makers? When they couldn’t resist your advances and flirtations because they knew their place?

How about when all the politicians were white? None of these brown people that are non-Christians or Communists? Remember when those brown people all called you sir, and stepped out of the way for your lady folk when they walked down the street?

Remember how happy we all were?

Well, Pepperidge Farm remembers. That’s why we’ve made for you our latest treat; Rose-tinted Milanos. Our delicious Milano cookies, filled with ideas of the past that totally wipe away any difficult memories or complications to the idealized past when things were better. At least for white men.

Pepperidge Farm; because simpler times require a simpler narrative.

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