I found a dead horse in the woods…

I named him “I hate Macklemore”, let’s go beat him with a stick.

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The Creative Process of a Jezebel.com Article.

8:30 A.M.  The journalist has just finished their fair trade coffee and granola purchased from Starbucks.  Her office, a studio apartment in one of the ‘up and coming neighborhoods’ of a New York borough, is located in a building she is unaware was the location of a garment factory that in the 1890′s worked immigrant women up to 14 hours a day with only two ten minute bathroom breaks.  The office is decorated in IKEA furniture, a company that removed women from it’s Saudi Arabian catalogs in order to placate the oppressive tribal customs of the country.  The monthly rent on the office is more than  what an average Congolese woman will make in ten years.

9:45 A.M.  The journalist has finally settled on an outfit largely made in Bangladeshi sweatshops where girls as young as 9 work for 12 hours a day.

9:50 A.M.  Her iPhone rings with a call from her editor reminding her of her deadline for an article by noon.  Her phone was made in China where workers are expected to work an average of 110 hours of overtime a month .  Female workers are checked if they are pregnant before they are hired.

10:15 A.M.  Desperate for a story the journalist turns to the news for a juicy topic.  Potentially engaging and informative articles skipped include:

  • A refugee family from Iraq living in Texas kills their teen daughter for “shaming” their family by sneaking out at night, making out with boys, and not wearing a burka.
  • A transwoman is videoed being savagely beaten while walking through a park in Russia by an anti-LGBT “activist group.”
  • In Ohio, a women’s health clinic is ordered closed because its physicians do not have admitting privileges to any local hospitals.  
  • Some conservative white male politician insinuated recently on a national news network that women who wear skirts after 8 P.M. are just asking to be raped.
  • A film with a positive female lead is nominated for 6 Oscars.
  • The first woman is appointed to an extremely powerful political position with global reach and powerful impact where decisions can have an impact for years.
  • A woman is appointed CEO of a company in the Fortune 100.  She is the only female to lead a company with a global reach and a powerful impact on the American economy in the Fortune 100.
  • Several photographs of recent political unrest in a foreign country prominently feature women in leadership roles as well as trying to broker a peace settlement.
  • A recent report details increasing disparity between white and black women’s income.

11:05 A.M.   Journalist finally settles on writing an article about a new pop song where the male singer aggressively pursues a woman and has strong sexual overtones.  The Journalist has only heard the song twice.

11:56 A.M.  Article is submitted before deadline.  The article is sufficiently inflammatory and is given a click baiting headline sure to draw Tweets and has a strong possibility of being linked on The Huffington Post; just above a slideshow about cakes, but below an article about Gweneth Paltrow talking about kombucha cleanses in her recent promotional tour for a film where she plays a damsel in distress to a strong male lead.

12:05 P.M.  The rights of women everywhere sufficiently protected from sexist pop songs, the journalist eats a salad comprised mostly of vegetables harvested by female illegal immigrant migrant workers who are often held against their will and raped by overseers who threaten them with death if they go to the police.